argh (ex_argh) wrote in onho,
argh
ex_argh
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Failure; TofuHo

Title: Failure
Author: argh
Rating: PG-13
Length: 3,342 words
Pairing: Onew/Minho (Tofuho 8D)
Summary: Minho gets home after filming the first Dream Team episode... and he feels like a failure so Jinki cheers him up?
Warnings: un-betaed. And the title sums up this fic too lol - it fails...

Failure.

TofuHo

***

Minho sucked in a deep breath as he pushed the front door open; he stepped into the apartment feeling relieved for the silence that greeted him. He felt exhausted, dirty, and like a complete failure. He sighed as he sank down onto the step and started to undo his shoes. He took his time undoing the laces because he felt drained and sad but also because he felt uncomfortable and guilty to face the others, especially Jinki.

It was meant to be an awesome day. He thought he would come home with a massive grin across his face and be feeling pumped. Instead he felt like shit and that he should’ve tried harder and done more. He swallowed, as he got up slowly and made his way into the apartment, hoping that by some miracle everyone was out.

He stopped and held back a sigh as he saw Taemin leap up as soon as he saw Minho walk in. His eyes wide with happiness and he was smiling so brightly across at him. Minho cringed slightly, and he felt tempted to run back out the front door, and just run until he could feel nothing but his legs ached and he just couldn’t move. So he stayed perfectly still as the smiling, bright faced Taemin advanced closer to him.

“Minho-hyung!” Taemin called out excitedly as he touched Minho’s sweaty arm, “How was it?” He added bouncing energetically next to him. Minho swallowed and tried to smile, but he couldn’t find the will or energy to smile. Instead he looked down at the floor, sighing as Taemin continued to babble at him, “Kibum-hyung even cooked meat to celebrate! And we’re going to have a party! So exciting right hyung? Everyone is so excited for you, especially Jinki-hyung! He can’t wait to see you!”

Taemin’s words felt painful, it felt as if he was being stabbed in the chest. Minho sucked in a deep breath, he felt so guilty. His band mates were going to so much trouble to celebrate and he had let them down. He had failed them all completely. He dropped his head down feeling ashamed of himself, and he coughed slightly. He heard a noise from the kitchen, it sounded like someone had dropped something, and instinctively he turned to look towards the kitchen. He almost choked as he heard a familiar voice calling out from the kitchen.

“Taemin! Taemin? Is Minho home now?” Jinki called out from the kitchen, sounding excited and happy, and then there was another noise, something crashing down, “oh shit.” Jinki mumbled softer, sounding like he was talking to himself. “Hmm, I better clean this up?” Minho winced, his heart pounding as he heard the excitement and happiness in his boyfriend’s voice. He felt curious to know what he had spilled or dropped. He wanted to go and help Jinki but the fact that he had let the older boy down stopped him. Jinki had gone to so much trouble for him, and he had just thrown it back in his face. He turned back to face Taemin, but the sound of footsteps from the kitchen made him freeze, and Taemin clung to Minho’s arm lightly.

“Hyung?” Taemin murmured with a frown, wondering why Minho looked so upset and why he was frowning so much. “Minho-hyung?” he mumbled again, and then he gasped as Minho pushed him aside roughly. Taemin almost slipped over, and he stared in disbelief as Minho grabbed his bag and shot off towards the bathroom. Taemin rubbed his arm gently, pouting as he stared at the now slammed bathroom door.

“Taemin? Where is Minho?” Jinki asked eagerly as he walked out of the kitchen, smiling until he saw how upset Taemin looked, and how he was staring at the bathroom. “What happened?” Jinki asked, feeling completely puzzled and confused, he was sure Minho was home. “Is Minho not home yet?” He tried to keep his disappointment out of his voice but he failed.

“No he is home. I don’t know what happened.” Taemin sounded slightly hurt, “he just pushed me away and ran for the bathroom.” He pouted and unconsciously rubbed at his arm again, it didn’t hurt. But it felt funny because Minho never normally pushed him. Taemin bit his lip and he glanced over at the door and then up at Jinki, looking slightly upset, “I thought he’d be happy and want to have a party with us!” Taemin looked slightly upset and a little sulky.

“Oh.” Jinki blinked and then frowned across at Taemin; he couldn’t understand why Minho had run away like that. He wanted to give him a massive hug and say how proud he was of him. But Minho had run straight for the bathroom. He pouted and sighed as he stood there trying to make sense of the situation, but it didn’t make sense to him. Jinki couldn’t help but feel upset. He could not understand why Minho had pushed Taemin away; he was always so gentle with the younger boy.

“Where’s Minho?” Kibum asked from the kitchen, hands on his hips, “He’s home isn’t he? We should eat soon; the meat will be ready soon.” He frowned as he looked across and saw how upset Jinki and Taemin looked. Jonghyun leaned around Kibum, looking at the other two curiously. “Taemin?” Kibum’s expression blackened when no one replied to him and he walked over to where Taemin was.

“He’s in the bathroom.” Jinki mumbled softly, watching as Kibum pulled Taemin into a hug, his arms wrapping loosely around his body. Jinki blinked and then added, “Taemin… said Minho pushed him and then he stormed off?” Jinki pouted, blinking his eyes rapidly as he tried to work out why Minho had reacted that way. He had never seen him push anyone before and it just confused him.

“Huh?” Kibum lifted his face and glared across at Jinki, making the older boy wince and step back, “He pushed my Taemin? How dare he! Well he better apologise later!” He wrapped his arms protectively around Taemin, and Jinki gulped nervously stepping back. Jonghyun rolled his eyes from the kitchen, sighing heavily before he turned away and walked back into the kitchen to steal some rice.

“Jinki!” Kibum snapped moments later when he noticed the older boy edging away, “What the hell are you doing? Get in the bathroom and tell Minho to hurry up. We’re all hungry, and we can’t celebrate without him.” Kibum pointed in the direction of the bathroom, one hand still tightly around Taemin’s waist.

“But?” Jinki protested, “I can’t just walk in on him.” His face slowly started to turn red, and Kibum sighed and rolled his eyes at him, and Taemin giggled beside Kibum. “It wouldn’t be right.” Jinki added firmly, his face going redder as he realised Taemin was laughing at him.

“Hyung, you’re his boyfriend.” Kibum sneered, one neatly manicured eyebrow raised, “If you don’t get in there right now, and talk to him, there will be no chicken for you tonight.” Kibum smirked slightly as he stared across at Jinki.

Jinki’s eyes widened and his face paled, as he looked across at Kibum. He glanced over at the kitchen, and then gulped as he saw Jonghyun standing in the door way, waving a chicken drumstick at him, smirking slightly. Jinki swallowed, and then he darted across the room heading straight for the bathroom. He stopped outside and he turned to see Kibum waving his hands at him, encouraging him to go in.

Nervously he knocked on the door and when there was no reply, he twisted the knob slowly and pushed the door open. Jinki squeezed his eyes half shut, just in case Minho was naked, and he reasoned that maybe he just wanted to shower first. When he couldn’t hear the sound of running water, he opened his eyes and gazed around, looking surprised when he saw Minho slumped on the floor, his back to Jinki.

“Minho?” Jinki shut the door behind him and made his way over; he started to worry when the other boy didn’t reply. Minho’s head was pressed to his knees, with his arms wrapped around them. Jinki bit his lip, and he sat down next to Minho, leaning against the bath and then slowly placed his hand down on his shoulder. Minho tensed immediately at the touch and Jinki felt alarm bells going off in his head, and he sucked in a deep breath, feeling even more worried. Maybe it was a mistake to get the manager to suggest Minho for Dream Team? Oh god, I thought he would like it? Did I fuck up?

“Minho, what’s wrong?” Jinki swallowed feeling guilty, “I’m sorry?” He leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around Minho’s body, hugging him lightly. He shut his eyes, feeling his heart pounding and he just wished Minho would say something. Jinki couldn’t stop worrying; he had never seen Minho like this before. He just wished Minho would talk to him, tell him what was wrong. It was obvious something was troubling Minho and Jinki just wanted to help.

“I’m… sorry hyung.” Minho mumbled sounding upset and sad, Jinki’s eyes shot open immediately. He hugged Minho tighter, pressing his lips to his neck, kissing the skin softly. “I failed you hyung, I failed you guys.” Minho added a moment later sounding completely broken, and Jinki continued to press soft kisses to Minho’s neck, trying to soothe the upset boy. “And… and hyung you went to so much trouble didn’t you? To organise Dream Team for me, but I just stuffed up.”

“Minho?” Jinki felt puzzled, “what happened, and I’m sure you didn’t fail.” He rubbed Minho’s back lightly, smiling down at the other boy, before whispering, “You could never fail me, I’m always proud of you.” He reached up and stroked his hands through the long strands of Minho’s brown hair, “Just tell me what happened? I’m sorry I thought Dream Team would be fun for you?” Jinki looked upset and he chewed on his lip, feeling terrible.

Minho slowly lifted his head, his eyes squeezed shut and he sucked in a deep breath as he felt Jinki’s arms wrap around his torso. His arms and hands felt so warm against his skin, but Minho felt so guilty, that he had let down Jinki. He swallowed and then went to pull away; he didn’t deserve to have Jinki’s love. But Jinki’s arms were firm around his torso, the older boy simply refused to let go. He wanted Minho to feel his warmth and love, and the unconscious message that he was not alone.

“Hyung, it was fun? But… I failed. In the last part, I completely failed.” He swallowed as he looked up at Jinki, his lashes slightly damp, and the singer realised he was close to tears which shocked him. Minho shut his eyes again, and he sucked in a deep breath, “We had to do this obstacle course… and you ran through this timed sharks jaw. Basically as soon as you entered the top of the jaw started to drop.” Minho paused to look at Jinki, “you know what I mean right?” Jinki nodded his head slowly.

“And you had to cross over this mud pool, and then run up these giant rods. Um they rolled under your feet.” Minho frowned, and sighed heavily, shutting his eyes as he tried to visualise it and Jinki paled beside him. “And at the top there was a boat, and you had to use it to get back down again, and you’d land in the mud pool. And then you just had to cross the pool, climb out and get back through the jaw before it shut?”

Minho opened his eyes and sighed, “Does it make sense? But anyways they kept lowering the sharks jaw so you had less time to complete the course.” Minho nodded his head slowly and he winced slightly and shook his head as he felt Jinki pat his back lightly.

“And I failed, I failed completely.” He pouted, “The jaws shut on me and so I was out. I wasn’t fast enough!” He shook his head slowly, looking upset, “I probably didn’t explain it well, but you’ll see it when it airs.” Minho tried to shrug casually, and tried to act as if he didn’t care, but Jinki could feel the tension in his body.

“That… that sounds hard,” Jinki blinked, and he tilted his head to the side, resting it on Minho’s shoulder. “Did anyone else fail?” Jinki asked softly, wincing moments later because he realised he should not have mentioned the word fail.

“Yeah.” Minho swallowed, “Everyone failed, but it’s not good enough.” He pouted, and dropped his gaze down again, “They even gave us a second chance, but I failed that too. I’m not fast enough. I’m sorry for letting you down, hyung. It was the first episode, and we failed completely. How bad does that look? We should have won, we should have been victorious!” He swallowed, and shivered slightly as he felt Jinki’s lips pressing against his cheek, kissing him tenderly.

“Minho…” Jinki frowned and then paused, thinking carefully about what he wanted to say. He knew Minho was very competitive, he didn’t want to upset him but rather reassure him, make him feel better. Jinki felt so guilty because he though Minho would enjoy Dream Team and seeing him looking so upset and sad really hurt. He didn’t want Minho to be in Dream Team if he was going to come home feeling this down.

Minho shut his eyes as Jinki continued to press kisses into his skin, his hands carefully stroking his sides, meant to soothe but it only made the rapper feel worse. He stiffened in Jinki’s arms, biting down into his lip, hyung, I don’t deserve this! I don’t deserve your love, I failed completely and let everyone down. But Jinki never let go, instead he continued to place tender kisses across Minho’s face.

“Minho… if everyone failed, I don’t know why you’re being so hard on yourself.” He nodded his head slowly, looking across at the younger. Jinki sighed and then cupped Minho’s face, his fingertips gliding across his chin lightly. “Minho, look at me? Please?” Jinki pleaded, tickling Minho’s skin lightly until the younger boy opened his eyes, looking sadly across at Jinki.

“It was the first episode, so I think no one knew what to expect?” He smiled warmly across at Minho, “And you know it’s not always about winning. The times you lose… they help you grow stronger.” He paused and stroked his thumb along Minho’s jaw line. “Plus you can learn from your mistakes, so don’t be so hard on yourself Minho!” Jinki bit his lip, “I know you worked hard today, right?” He paused and Minho nodded his head slowly.

“I think you should be proud of yourself for working so hard. You always put so much effort and enthusiasm into everything you do! You always work so hard, so I think the most important thing is not whether you won or not. But rather your effort and how much you put into it, how hard you worked.” He nodded his head again, leaning in to kiss Minho’s face again. “From that perspective you’re never a failure Minho; you work too hard for that.” Jinki smiled brightly, “And I’m always proud of you, and I love you so much.” Jinki dropped his face down slightly, and Minho blinked noticing that he was blushing slightly. Minho sat there digesting everything his boyfriend had said to him, and when he felt Jinki’s hands caressing his back slightly, he inched closer to him.

“How…can you be so sure?” Minho pouted slightly, “Are you sure I don’t disappoint you sometimes?” He asked softly, trying to ignore the hammering of his heart after hearing Jinki say he loved him. “I mean I let everyone down today!” He nodded his head slowly, “It was a draw, and we should’ve beaten those marine police guys.”

“Marine police guys?” Jinki paused and just stared across at Minho, “You were up against marine police? Shit. And you got a draw against them?” Jinki just gaped across at Minho looking completely shocked. “Woah, that’s amazing?” Jinki shook his head quickly remembering the other thing Minho had said, “And if you think I should be disappointed with you, does that means I disappoint you often?”

Minho immediately shook his head, “No no, you never disappoint me hyung.” He shifted closer to Jinki, blinking as he saw the older boy smiling warmly across at him. He could feel Jinki’s warmth pressed against him, the way his arm was wrapped around his shoulder, and his hand slowly stroking his back lightly. “Do… do you really think its amazing… that it was a draw?” Minho blinked as he looked across at Jinki, and he felt his heart skip as he saw Jinki’s face. Jinki looked so incredibly happy and proud, and he was smiling so widely, his eyes filled with warmth and love.

“Of course!” Jinki nodded his head eagerly, almost making Minho laugh with how exaggerated it was. “Of course it was amazing! I would expect marine police to kick everyone’s butts and beat them, but they didn’t beat you.” He looked surprised and happy, “I think that’s something to be proud of. I think everyone will be amazed and happy when they watch it.” He nodded his head and continued to pat Minho’s back lightly.

“Hyung.” Minho paused and he realised that he didn’t feel so bad anymore. He shifted and then he smiled across at Jinki, reaching for Jinki’s hand. He sighed and then nodded his head, “Thank you for making me feel better?” He bit his lip, “I don’t know how you always do it hyung, but I always feel so much better after talking to you.” He grinned as he saw Jinki blush again, smiling happily as he buried his face against Minho’s shoulder.

“I do?” Jinki sounded surprised, and he shut his eyes as Minho cupped his chin, pulling him in to kiss him. Jinki tilted his head to the side, resting one hand against Minho’s cheek, kissing him passionately. Minho smiled across at Jinki, and hugged him tightly, sucking in a deep breath and feeling so much better. Minho was however determined to do better in the next dream team.

“You do.” Minho grinned, and leaned over and kissed Jinki’s forehead lightly. “You always make me feel happy when I’m down and I love you too.” He kissed the tip of Jinki’s nose lightly, smiling as he saw how happy Jinki looked hearing that.

Jinki grinned and then squeezed Minho’s hand, “Shall we go and celebrate your new show now? You know everyone was so excited for you?” Jinki pointed out, “Kibum will probably kill us if we stay in here longer.” He patted the younger boy’s shoulder, “And did I mention that there is meat and chicken!!” He grinned as he saw how Minho’s eyes perked up hearing ‘meat’.

“Okay, um I guess we should? But we should celebrate working harder in the future?” Minho nodded his head, and Jinki just smiled across at him, feeling so proud of him. “And hyung, sometime I want to celebrate with just you.” Minho gave Jinki a certain look making the older boy turn red and he slowly nodded his head agreeing with the taller boy. Minho grinned happily and he leaned across and kissed Jinki’s cheek softly, “okay. We’ll celebrate when um Dream Team wins?” He grinned and Jinki nodded his head.

“Okay!” Minho sounded energetic, “I will have to work harder next time!” He balled his hand into a fist and thrust it up, and Jinki laughed softly beside him. “I feel so motivated now.” He added as he got up slowly and pulled Jinki to his feet. Holding hands they walked out of the bathroom to join the others and to celebrate the first Dream Team episode.

***

dfjksjk I started this because I was feeling kinda crappy :/ and blah. I had the idea for this floating around for a while^^;; and then because I felt blegh I wrote it :D and it’s good because it put me in a better mood too!
And I just thought Minho looked soooooo gutted when he failed that last time^^;; yeah.
I will shut up now ;D




:/ comments? ♥ :(
Tags: !fanfic, !oneshot, author: argh, pairing: tofuho, rating: pg-13, status: complete
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